Mozzarella Balloon Wars (2010)

posted in: Cooking, Experience, Savory, Seattle-ing | 64

Intergalactic Movie DataVerse

05 min - Sci-fi | Drama | Educational   –  Available on demand


A Jedi knight-in-training is faced with the task of creating perfect mozzarella balloons. If she succeeds, she
will become a Jedi forever, but dark forces brew within her and it remains to be seen whether she can conquer her internal evil.

Directors: Linda Miller Nicholson, Jonna Bell, & Jamie Fish

Writer: Linda Miller Nicholson

Release Date: 13 September 2010 (USA)

1 win & 2 nominations See more awards »


Cast overview, first billed only:

Linda Miller Nicholson

Padawan Salty Seattle

Linda Miller Nicholson

Darth Salty Seattle

Bentley Danger Nicholson

Master Yoda


Padawan Salty Seattle journeys through the galaxy to Dagobah in order to get Master Yoda’s seal of approval on the mozzarella balloons she makes for him. Along the way she fights an internal battle with her alter-ego Darth Salty Seattle. It remains to be seen who will emerge victorious.

Plot Keywords: Mozzarella | Balloons | Cooking | Molecular | Gastronomy | Jedi

Taglines: Where “Return of the Jedi” left off… “Mozzarella Balloon Wars” begins.

Genres: Sci-Fi | Drama

Parents Guide: View content advisory » This content suitable for all audiences as long as they are awesome.


Country: USA

Language: English | Jedi

Also Known As: La Guerra de los Globos de la Mozarela

Filming Locations: The Galaxy Kitchen of The Millennium Falcon

Box Office

Gross: $3 (USA) (they payed me to turn it off after 40 hours of editing plays and replays)

Technical Specs

Runtime: 5 min

Color: Color

Aspect Ratio: 1.85 : 1

MOVIEmeter: UP 100% in popularity this week.

Fun Facts

  • The mask that Darth Salty Seattle wears is the same one Michael C. Hall wears in the hit tv show “Dexter.”
  • A significant amount of mozzarella cheese curd was harmed (via explosion) during the making of this film. People for the Ethical Treatment of Cheese (PETC) caught wind of it and representatives now picket the Salty Seattle Studios costumed in giant wheels of brie.
  • 12 bottles of champagne were consumed during the making of “Mozzarella Balloon Wars.”
  • Giorgio Armani designed Darth Salty Seattle’s gown.


Padawan Salty Seattle: When the Empire gets a hold of Nitrous Oxide, well, let’s just say you don’t want to hear what happens to Darth Vader’s voice.


References Star Wars (1977) George Lucas


Main Theme from Star Wars –as interpreted by kazoo, et al

The Imperial March –also kazoo-ified

Montage –remember the montage from Team America? Well, this clearly isn’t it.

User Reviews

The character drama is gripping, and I’m convinced I could make those perfectly bulbous balloons after watching this tutorial

05 November 2010 | by Blarney Peckingsworth (Worcester, MA)

Aside from the fact that the lead actress is played by a total two-bit hack (I mean, she couldn’t even get past the first 50 on MasterChef, and if you watched the rest of the show, you’d surely know how easy that would be) I was moreover impressed with this classic transformative tale.

The cinematography is brilliant- the way they captured the true essence of the Millenium Falcon Galaxy Kitchen is something no Star Wars has done before, but surely we will see cooking segments in ALL Star Wars films to come. This is like Julia Childs meets Han Solo in a way that makes me want to make a taser to shoot rays of butter on my sous vide potatoes, if you know what I mean, and I know you do because that makes a TON of sense.

I am sure with a budget as large as the production crew had (I heard it was approaching ONE BILLION DOLLARS!) it wasn’t hard to achieve some of the mind-blowing effects present in this short masterpiece, but nevertheless, I was wowed. The siphon gun alone must’ve taken engineers countless years to perfect- it truly is a thing of beauty.

And seriously, to make that dorky woman look even halfway decent on film, they must’ve employed a team of botox specialists, acting coaches, and stunt doubles. I will say she has turned in her best performance to date. She is nearly on par with Christopher Walken in one of his worst roles, and that is the best she could ever hope for. (I only say that because I know he is her favorite actor and I figured I’d throw the trainwreck a bone so she doesn’t go crawling to one of those rehab spas citing “exhaustion,” ya know?)

The montage scene, which is an homage to Team America: World Police, is genius cinema at its finest. It captures the highs and lows of cooking, internal strife, and the climactic moment of choosing good over evil in a way that is relatable to all viewers.

One final note- that Bentley Danger character who plays Master Yoda is seriously ONE TO WATCH. I hear there are rumblings of a best supporting actor nomination for this role, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he takes it. Mark my words, that boy is GOING PLACES.

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64 Responses

  1. Linda you continue to amaze me ! Can’t wait to see how you reinvent pumpkin – should I be afraid ? :)
    Yoda rocks !

  2. Linda, you continue to amaze me in the best of ways. Loved this video, you definitely have my vote. Oh and yoda rocks :)

  3. I meant Food Buzz needs to think of another competition for you. I think I am still too excited from watching your video and can’t seem to type. :)

  4. Linda that was just brilliant. I loved the ending. Your son was adorable. I love the typography, costume design and demo. I think Food Buzz needs to think of another competition from you.

  5. Amazing…and I expected nothing less. All the elements, the IMDB, the post, the kazoo, the video, and Bentley Danger. Is that really his middle name? If I is I am so mad right now. I wanted that for my son, but everyone thought it was ridiculous. So if it really is his middle name than congrats on having the balls to do it!

    Those balls you got there sure do look incredible and the look on your face was priceless at the last ball….

    PS. Awesome.

    Linda Reply:

    @Elizabeth, you’re hilarious, and yep, that’s B’s real name:)

  6. Absolutely the most entertaining video of them all! Good luck Linda and Bentley!

  7. This is aaaaamazing, and I expected no less! LOVE it! ALMOST as much as I loved meeting you at Foodbuzz — but not quite ;)

    You have a vote from me!

    My entry combines stop-motion animation, makeshift music videos, some very off-key singing, my cheesy sense of humor, and enough tips and tricks to empower you to make over 27 different cheesecakes! Come see if you’d like :)

  8. LOL – you must have a lot of time on your hands :-) I love it.

  9. Gregory James

    Please dial 911 immediately. My stomach hurts so bad from laughing, I’m not sure if I’m going to make it or not. And I WANT those mozzarella balloons!

  10. I love the creative twist you put on this challenge. I expected nothing less than a really unique dish, and you didn’t disappoint! Love the mozzarella balloons – really curious what they taste like.

  11. haha… i was really entertained by your video. The force is in the laughing gas. love the OST, too haha… you have my vote… U

  12. Oh SS! You are absolutely wild.

  13. Very unique and entertaining video! I love how every one of your entries is outside the box. It was very interesting to see how you go about creating these artistic meals. Good luck to you!

  14. AMAZING! I used The Force to vote for you. Best of luck!

  15. Wow. The IMBD layout is a nice touch and Bentley Danger is definitely going places. Way to take the video challenge to another level. Did you do that music using a toilet paper roll? Fess up!

  16. What can be said? I love you. If you don’t win, it won’t be long before the apocalypse.

  17. Sorry just too funny – I think you have way too much time on your hands – but hey I did watch the entire video.

  18. keke. LOVE it! As usual. And especially loved Yoda. Nice work Linda. Voted.

  19. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Benjamin Rhau, Lyndsay Wells. Lyndsay Wells said: Mozzarella+Balloon+Wars+%282010%29 […]

  20. A great video you have. :)

  21. Yet another original and creative post. I love the IMDB reference/parody as well as the Star Wars theme. I think you rock the braids and I love the costume change. In the spirit of Yoda: The force runs strong with you so pass on the Jedi training and keep up the good work you must!

  22. Genius. Once again, I just couldn’t wait to see you attack this challenge :)
    I love everything, but Master Yoda is the best Lol. And, “Young Jedi, do or do not …there is no try” with that music ha! You are so fun and I absolutely love reading and experiencing your site. IMD, cast and user review – brilliant. Mozzerella a looks delicious. Perfection.
    – Butter

  23. I am not going to repeat all these accolades. Because I agree with every single one of them. But I will say, you are a star! Not just creative, but it’s impossible not to watch you… Still, my favorite part was seeing your kitchen! It was so very you. Oh and I have a question. How many wigs do you have? GREG

  24. LOL I about fell out of my chair when I heard the kazoo. I see the Force is strong in this video.

  25. And that’s supposed to say ‘Linda’. Not Lina. I am not having a conversation with a third party via your comment board, rest assured. @Rich

  26. You know, Lina, based on some of the comments here, I’m starting to think you must have assaulted the word ‘awesome’ at the Foodbuzz fest. Linguistically lazy fellow that I am, I have always cherished the word awesome as all-encompassing and still socially relevant. As it is, though, I am now self-conscious about its overuse re: my usage and will have to describe this particular post as ‘totally cool’. And the mozzarella balls as [insert sincere, non-cliche superlative adjective here].

    And your kitchen is awesome.

    Seriously, I can’t be stopped.

  27. Oh my goodness… I LOVE this! Not only is your video absolutely brilliant, but you are making some awesome food, too. I’ve said it before, but I really think they should call the contest off and award you with the grand prize!

  28. Am I really not allowed to use awesome here?
    I’m not going to watch anymore PFB videos tonight because I want to leave with this taste in my mouth.

  29. You are definetly and artist. WOW crazy imagination. Love the video.

  30. Well done Princess Salty Seattle, you’ll be back… no doubt! Loved the sound effects, they will probably get a nomination along with our young Bentley Danger.

  31. Good Lord. I am so incredibly happy to know such a freak of nature such as yourself!

  32. wow. I couldn’t ask for better evening entertainment! You’re so over-the-top creative and your video is awesome!

  33. this is the best entry I’ve seen thus far, so creative!

  34. ahahaha! i am completely speechless! i was imagening all sorts of things, but this definately surpassed anything my little brain could imagine! you are brilliant….and adding little bentley the jedi….priceless! xoxo emme

  35. Linda – SUPER creative post and video! Loved Yoda. The Kazoo added the extra special touch. Nicely done. Good luck in challenge #7!

  36. I’ve been waiting for this video post and the wait has been so worth it. To hell with any music you had before; this one was hilarious! And I LOVE the way you’ve structured the IMD post. And Master Yoda! Stop me before I begin to sound like a gushing idiot. (Too late!)

  37. You are such a NUT! LOVED the humming – it had a lovely kazoo like quality :-)

    This was great, though, makes me realize this is something I could actually do.

    Master Chef missed out. You need to audition for Next Food Network Star.

  38. Linda: the force is definitively with you :) The post is a sparkling gem.

  39. I loved everything about this, especially the look of utter joy on your face when you successfully made that last mozzarella ball. You were out of character for 2 seconds and it was perfect!

  40. When I told you that it would be fine to hum the music, I had no idea this was what you had in mind. I love love love how the post looks like an IMDB profile. And whatever that crazy black dress is (where do you get these outfits?? jealous!). And the dark side infiltrating the video. And your kitchen! Can I have your kitchen?

  41. No words can describe how fab this video is. But then again, we don’t expect anything less. I remember when you tweeted the pic of Bentley a while ago and thought it was for Hallowe’en but no, something even better!

    I love the post too. I am not sure which I like more the vid or the post.

  42. So creative and Yoda is an adorable scene stealer! I’ve never heard of mozzarella balloons before your post. Too much fun!

  43. I agree with Ben–I didn’t miss whatever music you had before. Does the creativity never cease? Hope not. Nicely done again.

  44. Extremely creative, but then, I expected nothing less! The ENTIRE post is amazing, you seem to have thought of every little detail… The force is strong with you. And Bentley Danger of course. :)

    Linda Reply:

    @The Cilantropist, thank you for noticing the post- that part was sort of my little pet project… xo.

  45. haha, you busted out the kazoo. now that’s old school. you’re hilarious & yoda was awesome. those mozzarella balloons are killer! fantastic job!

    Linda Reply:

    @Brie, feel like a big dork for it.

  46. OMG I’m dying. The kazoo killed me. So funny! Also, I love Ben’s comment.

    Linda Reply:

    @Lauren @ Healthy Delicious, kazoo killed me too- glad you can share in my embarrassment.

  47. I love your video and I just love you. Your kitchen is so fab and the way you structured the post and the video itself- it’s all just terrifically creative…like everything you do :).

    Linda Reply:

    @Winnie, Not as much as I love you…

  48. SO creative! and i love it when you post videos :)

  49. OK, I don’t know what music you had in there before, but it can’t possibly be better than this. Also, I would like to be trapped in a c 1980 Delta Jet with your kitchen. May the schwartz be with you!

    Linda Reply:

    @Ben, you’re choosing my kitchen over me? I’m crushed, really.

    Ben Reply:

    @Linda, make a twitter handle for your kitchen, and your both on my list. Geez, you’d think that’d go without saying!

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