I WON Project Food Blog* !!! (*not really)

But Salty, how is that possible? It’s not even over! (Plus, we all seem to remember you getting eliminated- did you finally lick the brown acid off the spherified slice of encapsulated pie?) I know, I know, but really, it’s true- winner winner chicken dinner right here over in my little single-wide slice of cyberspace- how about you? Are you a winner too?

Here’s the thing. Project Food Blog, hosted by Foodbuzz, was/is a contentious contest that generated a shitstorm of blog posts, tweets, really bad videos, controversy, burns, costumes (and more costumes), sleeplessness, memories, blood and tears. Does the blogosphere really need one more highfalutin hussy dropping her lil’ dime bag in the mix (that’s my ill-conceived slang for do y’all want to hear my .02)? I can hear the resounding shouts of yes, yes, please Salty, lay it on me baby, tell me exactly what you think, oh Stiletto Ninja of the Chartreuse Night!!!

Stiletto Ninja

Ok, ok, enough with the accolades (winners get accolades, you know?) and stop throwing your pudding panties and crotchless cupcakes at me- I’ll tell you what I think. And I’ll do it in a way I couldn’t throughout the duration of the contest, because, you know, I highly censored myself when I was making foie gras powder look like crack cocaine seeing as how I didn’t want to offend any potential voters. But now, now that I’ve transcended Project Food Blog and licked my loser pile of thermo-reversible jelly up off the floor to discover that I am, in fact, still me, I can call it as I see it, F-bombs, thinly-veiled innuendo and all.

Foie Gras "cocaine"

And the main thing I want to say is that neener neener neener, I FUCKING WON! But guess what? At the end of the day, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US WHO ENTERED THIS CONTEST WITH ANY VERACITY WON! We are all fucking winners! And I don’t mean this like the stupid “my kid is an honor student at Slacker Academy this quarter” winners, either, because I’m definitely more part of the “my kid beat up your honor student” contingency.  Yes, kids, in this contest, many Childs were Left Behind, but guess what (I’m looking at you, Laura Bush)- THAT’S OK! One person may take the cake, but we can all chug the champagne and play strip poker til the wee hours, so suck it up, bitches, give yourself a gold star and humor me.

From Alice Eats Wonderland Entry

Let’s peer, for a moment, through the looking glass, and count the ways we won. How many of us made new friends? Show of hands here please… I can honestly say I made friendships I will keep for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t trade that for all the gold neckclocks in Flavor Flav’s collection. How many of us were introduced to blogs we previously didn’t know existed but now deeply admire? How many of us are plotting cities to visit based on said new friends and blogger crushes, and how many of those awesome people are actually coming to see us? How many bottles of limoncello were personally sent to us by hyper-talented other participants in the contest (ok, maybe just me!)?

photo credit: http://devourtheworld.blogspot.com/

This section of the ranting essay is all about HUMAN CONNECTIONS. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again- at the end of the day, at the end of our lives, what do you think really matters? Whether Foodbuzz put on some blogging contest back in 2010 or whether you’re gazing into the eyes of the people you love, holding their hands, reaffirming those human connections that compose the most profound moments of your life? If the blogging contest in any way had something to do with you encountering someone who touched your life irrevocably, shouldn’t you offer up a hallelujah or a hell yeah to Foodbuzz and say- thanks, guys, thanks for being my wing man so I could properly stalk Foodwoolf and get her to reveal her mad genius to me!?

Why else are we winners? Because we were inspired to be better. We thought harder, wrote purtier, created crazier, promoted wisely-er, and cooked some damn fine food in the process. We traveled to foreign lands, we splayed our souls for the world to see, we edited, we videoed, and we challenged ourselves to perform at our personal bests. Undeniably, Project Food Blog will inspire a generation of well-crafted bloggers. Many of us now realize there is a social and moral responsibility behind our words and have attempted to reconcile that with writing about food.

Personally, Project Food Blog helped distill the convoluted freneticiscms of my disjoined thought processes into something resembling cohesion. I realized that I need structure and I like assignments. I realized food and words are my medium through which to make a big ol’ stiletto stamp on the world and I’m now on a singularly-focused mission to do just that. I want people to think about what they shove into their Strawberry Chapstick-rimmed gobs whether it’s hempseed granola and two teaspoonfuls of Yoplait or a solitary pizza flower. Project Food Blog helped me come to that realization so, you guessed it, I’m a winner yet again!

Pizza Flower

Here’s the thing. I made a promise. I said that if I won Project Food Blog I would wear a meat dress to accept my crown. Well, there will likely be no crown for me unless @bayareaglutton fashions one out of a sausage necklace and sends it my way, but because I’m counting my blessings and counting my naughtly little self among the winning faction, I still probably owe it to you to wear a meat dress, don’t I? Don’t get all excited and scroll down- THERE IS NO MEAT DRESS IN THIS POST. But, it’s coming. You, my especially-beloved, spectacular readers, will be subjected to the blinding vision of me in a meat dress forever documented on this here blog at SOME POINT (yes, I’m wishy washy) in the next few months. Now if anyone has any ideas on how to properly fasten prosciutto to slippery skin, send ‘em my way.

PS- In the real contest that’s still really going on and is not just manifest in the chicken scratches that come out of my ass- er, imagination, vote for NoRecipes- he’s the total package and deserves to be the actual winner. Maybe I can even convince him to wear a meat dress too.

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52 Responses

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  5. YES. I agree with EVERYTHING you’ve said! I can’t wait to visit you. Fair warning: I may end up living in your kitchen forever. Sous-vide me, baby! Jax x

  6. […] to read others’ fun Project Food Blog reflections? Here are some of my favorites: 1, […]

  7. You are such a rawkstar ; )

  8. simply put, true that! :)

  9. YES. I agree with EVERYTHING you’ve said! I can’t wait to visit you. Fair warning: I may end up living in your kitchen forever. Sous-vide me, baby!

    Jax x

  10. Getting to know you and your blog was certainly a (the?) highlight of pfb for me. Love you Salty: pudding pancakes, crotchless cupcakes, and all.

  11. Rant on Sistah!!!

  12. Amen to all that. Great post Linda and of course, you are right. All the friendships we made and all the challenges we faced (successful or not) it’s all character building right? Proud to call you my friend!

  13. Great post. I know many people I have ‘met’ virtually who were participating in the competition cannot be more grateful for having connected with so many other food lovers and forming some lovely friendships. As a reader as well, it has opened my eyes to so many gorgeous new blogs and leaves me with enough fodder daily to stay inspired and improve the quality of my own posts.

  14. Brooke@foodwoolf

    Girl. You are so fierce. You did win. And I’m so glad you did. Keep on being who you are and being fearless. It’s what it’s all about. Xoxoxo. B

  15. I have some definate thoughts about proper meat dress creations and I couldn’t agree more that this contest was a blast and I too feel like I’ve won by discovering new unique voices and learning to push ourselves a little bit harder with every new blog post forward. Here, here !!

  16. Unfortunately, personal and work things kept me from really following the PFB challenge, but I am so glad I found this post. I have heard of your blog but somehow didn’t have a chance to sit and and read it until now, and I must say I LOVE your cheek!! I have a close personal relationship with the F bomb myself …. consider me a fan. ; )

  17. You are very magnanimous :-)

    If the contest had been about originality, talent, entertainment, and wow factor (as opposed to how many votes one can drum up as the result of living at a computer 24/7 – what?) – you won.

    As an old guard once upon a time “top blogger” and veteran contest afficianado, forgive me for I am jaded.

    The true winners are your bona fied readers. The ones who were blown away and entertained by your ongoing fabulosity.

    Not to mention the acting.

    The Jetsons as a feminist conundrum?
    Edible matchsticks?

    You didn’t win, you rule.

    Bitch, out.

  18. Really enjoyed reading this :) thanks for sharing!

  19. I love you. You win at LIFE!

    Also, you would look hot in a meat dress. As would Marc.


  20. I found your site through the PFB and have been so inspired. So although I never entered the contest, I feel like the winner for finding your awesome site…..ok that was way cheesy. But hey, I can be a cheesy chick. And I love to eat cheese. Nom nom.

    Anyone else have Queen’s “We are the Champions” play through their head while reading this?

    Great post.

  21. I love that photo of you peering into someone’s house. Really though, I have to check with myself sometimes, questioning what will make me feel like a winner. Is it getting 1378 comments within 2 minutes of posting something on my blog? Will it be making tons of “passive income” from my blog? Nah. I will be a winner when I decide I am. Thanks Salty.

  22. PFB or not, you are wise beyond measure, you psycho chick. Everything you said is true and I am embarking on my year long journey to stalk my favorite bloggers.It will end with seeing you and No Recipe with matching meat dress marinating each other.

  23. Great post, you said it perfectly! I was one of the sad bloggers that didn’t make it out of round one! But I participated the only way I knew how….I voted!!! And unlike the judges I reviewed, read and re-read the posts and gawked at all the fantastic pics, voting for those I fell in love with each round. The friends I made, the things I learned and the stories I read are priceless and in this way I am happy I was a part of Project Food Blog!

  24. Great logic but I’ll take it a step further. I did not enter, just wasn’t my type of gig and maybe, just maybe the 70 hour workweek entered into it?!!

    But, that being said…many of your reasons for why those who did were all winners was my good fortune too. I was introduced to some wonderful new people and fabulous blogs and for that I am grateful to ALL of you. I saw some work that was amazing, some personalities I love and well, food to die for.

    My only regret as a viewer of the process was that I did not have Limoncello sent to me.Someone will pay.

  25. Amen sista! Now go make that meat dress :)

  26. I got eliminated in round 2, but honestly it was a bit of overkill and I lost interest quite quickly… who has the time to read 400 posts in a week? Plus, I seriously doubt any of those judges read a single post! Their names were just stuck on the contest to give it some street cred! Congrats on the win… and I guess I need to pat myself on the back and the other 600 people who got rubbed out!

  27. you are salty, and zesty, and spicy and…YES…you are (despite all your efforts to disguise that)…sweet! at the same time. You’re the most unique of all the entrants from day one – the whole package. Baci carissima :)

  28. Put the damn meat dress on, girl! You call yourself a winner?!?!?? Funny stuff. PFB was an interesting thing…intense for the contestants, for certain, and forcing them to try new things and reach beyond their boundaries. But I didn’t want to enter for some of the very reasons you mentioned, the intensity, the stress, the all-consuming nature of it. I am already a little obsessed with my blog, I didn’t need anything spurring that on!

  29. My goodness, Linda. The language! Don’t you think a strategically placed “winkie” or “hoo-hoo” would have sufficed? Honestly. I blame the parents.

  30. Stephanie @ The Beunette Foodie

    When I started PFB I had zero expectations. I have a pretty laid back blog with no pretty photography {I only use my iPhone. Never my DSLR.}. I didn’t expect to make it through to Round 2 & I didn’t. However I learned so much about food blogging from being in the contest, and I found a ton of great new blogs for my Reader.

    I’m hoping Foodbuzz does this again next year, because even if I don’t make it past Round 1 again I know I’ll find even more great blogs & friends

  31. Hahahha a meat dress huh? Since I didn’t think I’d make it this far I think it would be fairly safe to take that challenge, except I’ve made it this far… which means I’m a pretty shit-poor clairvoyant, and I shouldn’t quit my day-job food blogging. Plus who the hell would want to see me wearing a meat thong?

    In all seriousness, you raise a bunch of good points. For me, win or lose, I already feel like a winner because I met you, and dozens of other awesome food bloggers. Also, after running No Recipes for over 3 years, I’ve finally figured out what my blog is about (which I’m going to reveal in Challenge 10).

  32. You are totally and completely right! I don’t regret any minute of this contest and I wouldn’t trade the experiences, friendships or lessons gained for anything. We win! I win!

  33. Bring on the freakin’ meat dress baby!

  34. Great post. Focusing on the things that matter at our true human-ness level is a concept lost on our American society today where everything revolves around competition and collection. Sometimes it’s great to be eliminated (I’ve been totally tossed on my ass this year, eliminated from life it seems) so that we can get back to what truly matters in life and to just SAVOR THE MOMENT. We totally don’t do that when we’re caught up in running the race.

    You are a winner. And so am I b/c I found your blog =)

  35. Why did you get eliminated? I loved your entry!

  36. WORD. i know i still think i’m a winner :)

  37. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jameson Fink, Kim Ulmanis and Amanda Opaluch, Linda M Nicholson. Linda M Nicholson said: F-Yeah! I WON Project Food Blog!! http://t.co/4ggjngH #pfb2010 (LOL) […]

  38. NO, I won ‘cuz I got to know you! GREG

  39. You are not only brilliant but you’re freaking hilarious and so right on. As I continue to navigate this vast ocean of food blogging I have discovered so much inspirational talent and ambition. All of you are absolutely AWESOME without question.

    Thank you for sharing your incredible journey and insight.

  40. Hear hear!

  41. Ninjalicious Winner -you said it all and more..thank you !

  42. I bought my voyeur E Ticket and was awe-struck with my ride on the Salty Seattle Food Train Express. Your vision for entries left me speechless so many times on the Food Blog Rocket Coaster (please keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times, and I’m sad to see the ride finally ended.

    What a ride!

  43. You totally won PFB. I love every minute of your ride. (and it’s not over.)

    I am completely disappointed that there is no meat dress in this post. You are such a tease!

  44. THANK YOU! This post is brilliant, you said everything I’d like to but haven’t had the guts to. You’re right, we are all winners! So nice to have discovered you and your blog during the competition, your blog is so fun!

  45. You said it all! We are the CHAMPIONS! (uh oh showing my age AGAIN). I was a loser after my Nepalese post. They didn’t like the raw chicken hanging from my kitchen cabinet. Screw it! I got to dress my little guy like a sherpa so see? I am a winner too. I am a winner because no matter what they can’t take away my god given right to wield a spatula.

    If NoRecipes doesn’t win I will be pissed.

  46. wowza…and pfb introduced the rest of us to the Uniqueness that is Salty Seattle!!

  47. YEAH! AMEN SISTA!!!! (Sorry for going loco with the !! but I feel this post calls for them.)

  48. oh sure. you and your effing blue highlighted pizza flower link. show off.

  49. Could not of said it better myself. Like, actually, I could not have said it better. My favourite PFB2010 post of all! :)

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