- July 31st, 2012
The renovation saga continues this week with even more toe-curling excitement. Remember this tree that was in the living room?
You may recall that we discovered it was totally rotted through and resembled the texture of balsa wood. That’s not exactly the kind of column you want supporting a roof, especially when that roof is meant to be planted. So the big order of business this week was to take down the tree, and let me tell you, we totally got our white trash on in the process. Anyone would really, because it’s just not possible to remain classy when you’re operating a chainsaw inside a living room.
Somewhere between ripping up the living room floor so we could expose the crawl space below and actually hacking up the tree, I realized our house in its current state would make the very best setting for a horror film imaginable. There are woods, a marsh, all manner of ominous torture devices such as sledgehammers and crowbars, and now, a gaping hole in the floor that would be perfect for a bodice-slashed heroine to plunge screamingly down only to impale herself on one of the many sharp protrusions poking up from the foundation. A few rats could scurry out from beneath her lifeless corpse as the sound of a chainsaw faded off into the distance… it would be an instant classic. Read more