Fresh off the heels of bacon-wrapped bacon and chili con carne soused in Velveeta for the superbowl comes the weeklong gag-me season of red velvet everything. A quick scan of the interwebs reveals red velvet cake pops, red velvet cheesecake, red velvet panna cotta, and even red velvet cosmopolitans- in the case of that last one, NO, two wrongs don’t make a right so don’t even think about it. Put down the cocktail shaker and man up, you namby pamby sissy.

So yeah, Valentine’s Day is coming and we all have our crosses to bear with Cupid. Some of us dismiss it out of hand as a Hallmark holiday while others desire expect a flatbed of roses delivered to the office at an opportune time so as to bask in the envious glares of perpetually-single cat lady colleagues. Regardless where you fall on the scale of ostentatious displays of pink-frosted love, you’ve gotta eat. So why not eat a bloodbath of visceral carnage to get closer to that thumping, pumping organ inside your chest cavity that’s supposed to be responsible for all the paramourious emotion- the heart.

The heart is the body’s main transfer station for blood. Sometimes it sends it up top and you feel really brainy like you could sort out a Rubik’s cube using only your pinkie toes. Other times it sends the blood down low and the only solution is to tend your secret garden with the deep, penetrating strokes of a big hoe. Either way, there’s blood involved, so why not mirror that on the plate for Valentine’s Day? In the words of my straight-shooting friend John from the blog Foodwishes, “The way to a man’s heart is through well-seasoned meat… and vice versa.”

With that in mind, I chose all things bloody and (naturally) red to express the profound color of my passion on Valentine’s Day. Naturally there’s meat. In this case it’s venison tenderloin. Beef tenderloin is the bees knees and can be substituted, sure, but the hot, wet feeling of a purple-red deer loin throbbing in your hands is unlike anything else. Or maybe it’s kind of like SOME other sensation, but I can’t quite nail it… Read more

There are pistachios and then there are pistachios. The first time I had pistachios I was riding bitch in my dad’s Chevy Luv and he offered to let me “drive,” meaning he pulled me onto his lap and let me man the wheel. We hulled pistachios with our teeth and spit the shells out the permanently rolled-down drivers’ side window. I had so much fun I forgot my hard-earned lessons in toilet training and peed on his legs. I must have been about four. The pistachios were good- sufficient for my post-toddler tastebuds.

The first time I had pistachios I was in Naples, Italy. I was 19 and on a solo backpacking tour of Europe. I had just arrived in Naples after a harrowing experience in Corfu, Greece at the Pink Palace. The Pink Palace is the kind of place that makes you slam shots of fuchsia-hued ouzo on the shuttle bus before you’ve even checked in to the hostel. The Pink Palace is the kind of place that makes you wear a toga to dinner, and further, a staffer performs a creepy gym class-style hand check to make sure you are sans undergarments beneath the cheap sheet. The Pink Palace is the kind of place where you are forced to room with three girls from Saskatchewan who make fun of you for being American even though one of them has trouble naming the Canadian provinces. These same three girls make a pact not to sleep with anyone later that night. Read more

*One more day to vote in Project Food Blog Challenge #4. If you like me, why not vote for me here, pretty please?

If sustainable chicken butchering wasn’t Food Ninja enough for you (one week left to enter the Food Ninja contest-do it::), how about giving water-bathed soufflés a whirl? This is a “soufflé” in the most hypermodern sense of the word. In other words, this aint your grandma’s souffle. It earmarks the fruits of my recent experimentation with egg whites and sous vide. It’s no secret I’m an unabashed fool for all things uova, but I was really more of a yolk kind of a girl- until now. Now I’m enjoying a renaissance of my appreciation for albumen and this is the culmination of my experimental accomplishments. I got the concept from the Spanish chef Raphael Peña, however I altered times, temperatures and ingredients so much (after preparing the dish numerous times) I am going to share my recipe.

But first I’m going to tantalize you with the sheer genius of this dish and assure you that if you make it, you’ll be licking not only your chops, but your plate, your neighbor’s plate, and maybe even some stray egg you spot on your neighbor’s upper lip. That sounds like one heckuva sexy party, but then, eggs are just sexy like that, no? It’s probably because they are the primordial origin of life, and I guess there is something inherently sexual about that. Yep, eggs are the ultimate aphrodisiac in my book, although I realize that sounds borderline cuckoo.  Remember key parties? I propose sous vide soufflé parties instead, if you’re into that sort of thing, which I’m not, for the record.

Enough blather- what is that damn frothy concoction, you ask? Well it’s an egg yolk nestled into a pillow of stiff egg whites then topped with more egg white so the yolk is a hidden surprise inside the billowy cloud. It sits atop seasonal Parisienned vegetables, Jamón Ibérico and cream. Can you imagine anything more decadent? I can, actually. AS SOON as truffle (only Alba white for this girl) season hits full steam- it’s supposed to be a good one this year- I will be shaving a heaping lot on top.

Sous Vide Souffle on Parisienne Vegetables and Jamón Ibérico

• Serves 4 and takes 1 hour (more if you are a slow vegetable Parisienner)

For the vegetables & Jamón:

• ¼ lb chopped Jamón Ibérico (available in Seattle at Metropolitan Market)
• 1 tbsp butter
• 1 garlic clove, minced
• 2 medium beets (red or golden), cut into Parisienne balls with a Parisienne scoop
• 2 parsnips, cut into Parisienne balls with a Parisienne scoop
• ½ delicata squash, cut into Parisienne balls with a Parisienne scoop
• 1 fennel bulb, cut into Parisienne balls with a Parisienne scoop
• (optional) 1 cup frozen organic peas
• ¼ c heavy cream
• Salt and pepper to taste

Parisienne balls (could always just chop 'em instead)

For the egg soufflé:

• 4 eggs (I use duck) separated
• 1 tsp salt

To prepare the soufflés:

1. Heat your sous vide supreme or immersion circulator to 156°F. Establish the mise en plus for the eggs, as you want to work quickly. You will need four double-layered sheets of clingfilm slightly larger than a standard piece of paper, a 3” round cutter (approx), a stand mixer or hand beaters, kitchen twine, and either a half pan (if you have a sous vide supreme) or something small and heavily weighted that you can tie your souffles to (if you are using an immersion circulator). For the sous vide supreme method, be sure your water level is high enough that when you place a half pan inside the supreme (should fit perfectly), it just touches the water.

half pan fits perfectly in the SVS to keep floating objects immersed

2.  Beat egg whites and salt to stiff peaks. Place the cutter on a flat surface and lay one sheet of clingfilm over it, making a depression in the film where the cutter is. Spoon beaten egg white into the depression until the cutter is nearly full.

cutter lined with clingfilm filled with stiff egg white

Gently place the egg yolk on top of the white.

yolk rests on bed of white

Spoon just enough white over the yolk to cover it.

covered with white

Gather the clingfilm as though it is a satchel, and tie it tightly just at the top of the egg white so you have a little beggar’s purse.

gathered

Quickly repeat for remaining eggs. (For immersion circulator method, tie your beggar’s purses around the heavy objects so they will remain immersed in the water bath.)

beggar's purse

3. Drop the soufflés in the water bath (for sous vide supreme, cover with half pan so that pan keeps soufflés immersed, then fill half pan with water for stability). SET A TIMER for 24 minutes.  Turn the oven on broil.

4. Once 24 minutes has elapsed, remove the purses from the water bath, quickly and carefully untie them, and place them tie side up on a parchment-lined baking sheet, taking care not to rip the soufflé (a small rubber spatula works well here).

5. Place them on medium rack in oven under broiler and WATCH CAREFULLY. When the soufflé just begins to brown at the top, remove from oven. This could be anywhere from 2-4 minutes. You do not want to overcook or your yolk will lose its runniness.

version made a different day to show the browning you want

To prepare the vegetables:

1. While the soufflés are in the water bath, blanch each vegetable separately in boiling, heavily-salted water until it is crisp tender. Approx 3 minutes for the beets, for the fennel it’s more like 30 seconds, and everything else is somewhere in between.  Remove the vegetables to individual ice baths.
2. In a large sauté pan, render the Jamón until it is nearly crisp. Add the butter and garlic. Sauté for 1 minute. Add the remaining vegetables and sauté for an additional 3 minutes, stirring frequently. Add the cream and adjust the seasonings.

To serve:

1. Place a mound of vegetables in the center of a plate or shallow bowl. You can use a round cutter to keep the vegetables in order if you want a nice presentation.
2. Gently place soufflés atop the vegetables. The real drama happens when you cut into a soufflé and the yolk comes gushing out, coating the vegetables.