I instantly shape shifted into Gollum at Pike Place Market the other day.  You would have done the same thing too if you had seen it though. My precioussss, my preciouss, precioussss, precioussss.  My primal nature kicked in and I furtively, possessively glanced about, assessing the threat from all angles.  It’s mine, all mine, mine, mine, I thought in my suddenly Australopithecus brain.  Ok, maybe most of you wouldn’t have gone quite so nuts over it, but the ambrosial delights I knew I would find inside that little parcel really had my blood all in a boil.  Wondering wtf I’m talking about? Why all the suspense, Linda, you’re bordering on psycho here? Just go seek one out and try it for yourself; then tell me I’m wrong to be so instantly awestruck. 

Ok, ok, the object in question is a goose egg.  Not the kind you get on your noggin after a particularly inebriated night involving five 30somethings and a tetherball, either.  This goose egg called out to me from its cushioned perch at The Creamery in the market, “Linda- bye, bye Miss American Pie, drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry.”  Why was the goose egg singing that song, you ask?   Let’s revisit Homer’s Odyssey for a moment, shall we?  You recall the Sirens of Titan luring unsuspecting seamen with their enchanted voices? Well American Pie would be the song they would sing to me.  It’s like dangerous nectar to my ears every time I hear it.  You could talk me into anything with that song.  Anyway, the goose egg beckoned me to her with my inescapable song, and there was nothing I could do but buy her, and her little buddy behind her too. 

Read more